Humor in Scripture

Scripture does illicit humor

By: Dr. Jeff Fuller

You may have heard the story, but it still brings with it a belly full of laughter every time I think of it.

A new minister was out visiting one afternoon and stopped at the home of a church member who he had been informed was not active in church and needed a pastoral visit.  Pulling into the driveway he silently prayed that God would give him the guidance he needed to give to this family.

Stepping up on the porch, he knocked and waited.  There was no answer.  He knocked again, a little harder, but still, no answer.

He reached into his pocket, retrieved his pen and one of the new business cards, writing a scripture reference from Revelation and tucked the card in the door.  Walking back to his car, he left, quite proud of the inspiration God had given him.

On Sunday morning, as he stepped up to the pulpit and arranged his notes and Bible for the sermon, he noticed one of his business cards on the desk.  There on the front of the card was the scripture reference he written that week while out visiting.  Turning the card over, he found another scripture reference from the book of Genesis.

The reference from Revelation was, “Listen! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and have dinner with him, and he with Me.”(Revelation 3:20 HCSB)  The reference written in the hand of a woman, from Genesis was, “I heard You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” (Genesis 3:10 HCSB)

I guess you would say the communication process in that simple visit was clear.  Yes, it was funny, but the message was clear in its understanding.  Scripture has been used in other ways to bring with it some interesting laughable moments.

Someone wrote that Elisha had no special words for the man who lost his tool in the water.  Seems he responded with, “Don’t ax me!”

Mark Twain was fond of telling the story of a small boy and his unusual account of Elisha and the prophets less ingratiating mood: “There was a prophet named Elisha.  One day he was going up the mountainside.  Some boys threw stones at him.  He said, ‘If you keep throwing stones at me, I’ll set the bears on you and they’ll eat you.’  And they did, and he did, and the bears did.”

Sports are spoken of in the Bible.  As a matter of fact, baseball is talked about a great deal in the Bible: In the big inning, Eve stole first.  Adam stole second.  Gideon rattled the pitchers.  Goliath was put out by David.  And the prodigal son made a home run.

As you know, the issue of drinking is hotly debated using a multitude of biblical references for both support and condemnation.  But, one pastor was asked by a drinker, “What pastoral advice have you for drivers who drink?”  The pastor thought a moment, and answered, “Jug not lest ye be jugged.”

A little boy approached the evangelist who was leading the revival and said, “If you don’t get a percentage on each conversion, then what is all this I hear about the great commission?”

“There will be thunder, lightening, flood, fires, and earthquakes!” roared the preacher, describing Judgment Day.

Wide eyed, a little boy in the congregation tugged at his mother’s sleeve: “Will I get out of school?”

A sign above the door of a church nursery: “They shall not all sleep, but they shall all be changed.”

After administering a spanking, a father returned to his son’s room to talk to him.  “I really didn’t want to spank you, but the Bible says that children should obey their parents.”

“I know,” was the tearful reply, “but the Bible says, ‘Be ye kind one to another,’ too.

A Sunday School teacher asked her students to draw a picture of the holy family.  After the pictures were brought to her, she saw that some of the youngsters had drawn the conventional pictures-the holy family and the manger, the holy family riding on the mule, etc.

But she called up one little boy to ask him to explain his drawing, which showed an airplane with four heads sticking out of the plane windows.

She said, “I can understand you drew three of the heads to show Joseph, Mary, and Jesus.  But who is the fourth head?”

“Oh,” answered the boy, “that’s Pontius, the pilot.”

When a Sunday school class was asked to write out the Ten Commandments, one boy put down for the fifth commandment, “Humor your father and your mother.”

I just thought we all needed a little something to brighten our days and turn those frowns on our faces into a smile.  It is true that a merry heart will do us all a world of good.  So, laugh a little and know that Jesus loves you and I love you, too.

Until next time…